The Reason We Homeschool - And Also, the Goal of Life
I've figured out the goal of life. And therefore, the goal of education.
Bold words, and I offer them as something to mull over and agree with as you will, or shrug off as you choose.
The goal of life is to live a life that instills a sense of satisfaction in oneself. This means one has to know what it feels like to be satisfied and fulfilled. And that one has to have a set of tools that can get him or her to that fulfillment, whatever it may be.
That's why play is so important, especially for young people. It's why establishing an early sense of morality without guilt is important, for it forms the foundation for being satisfied and fulfilled. The Thomas Jefferson Education folks call this early phase the Core Phase. Only then can a child have a sense of justice and right selfhood. Only by wasting time, for instance, can she learn what about that feels nourishing, and what feels empty. Only by trying on other selves and playing in all sorts of environments and learning to ride the waves of emotions in a safe place can a person learn who they are, and what they want out of life.
Then one needs tools to get where one wants to go, and that's where reading, writing, arithmetic, and other traditional aspects of learning comes in. But these need to be taught through play and exploration as well, or a child gets confused and thinks the point is to get things right all the time, and then gives up trying anything at which he might "fail." [The TJEd folks call this Love of Learning Phase.]
Even in areas not included in the canon of imperial education, like art, athletics, and music, in order to give children a sense of what they want and who they are, we need to step back from our grand ideas of perfection, and let them find their way. An example is my daughter's gymnastics. She loves gymnastics. She was the toddler who would hang on everything, climb everything, and could execute a forward roll before she could talk. We found a gym that fosters strength, self-esteem, and skilled gymnasts. We spend a lot of time and a lot of money there. But recently she reached a point where she had to decide if she was going to go the competitive route, which eventually means 14 hours or more a week of practice plus traveling and meets, but means she would be shaped into a strong and perfect gymnast; or we had to take the "Eagles" route, where girls get medals no matter what at their few competitions and advance to the next level just by continuing on, not through perfecting skills. I really struggled with this choice (and I hate having to make it now - she's only seven!), because the high level of competition with choice A doesn't feel like a good fit, and it feels too critical and pushy to me (for my daughter's personality and needs). But choice B feels like they just don't care. Like if you're not going to head for the Olympics, we'll still take your money and give your kid something to do, but we won't care that much about it. I feel those non-competitive kids still need to be met where they are and encouraged and coached, no matter what. But our culture doesn't support that idea.
We decided to go the Eagles route, because my seven-year-old is not interested in making gymnastics the be-all-and-end-all-center-of-the-universe. But a part of me watched the top level girls work out and do their routines, and I feel a sense of longing and regret. What if my daughter could be like that? I realized that underneath this feeling was a desire for her to have a Thing in the world, and this desire comes from my not knowing what my Thing is. I envy people who got a degree in something and go do that thing and identify with it and get accolades for it and that is their Thing. I had equated having a Thing with being fulfilled.
It's not about having a Thing. It's about feeling satisfaction and fulfillment - which might mean having a Thing, or it might mean doing gymnastics just for fun, or having lots of little things, or it might mean earning lots of money - but then knowing what to do with that money and not judging oneself on the money or the accolades themselves. And I think most people don't know how to get there. Because most people were schooled in the traditional system.
So I'll continue to value all the little things I do - writing, gardening, walking to the library, belly dancing while I cook breakfast - that fulfill me. And I will encourage my kids to do the same. I should mention, too, that I think a huge part of feeling fulfilled and motivated in life is a rich spiritual life.
And that's the reason we homeschool (and specifically, we Flowschool, if you will - sort of unschooling meets TJEd). To help my children grow up to be people who know what they want from the inside and how to achieve it in the world.
Bold words, and I offer them as something to mull over and agree with as you will, or shrug off as you choose.
The goal of life is to live a life that instills a sense of satisfaction in oneself. This means one has to know what it feels like to be satisfied and fulfilled. And that one has to have a set of tools that can get him or her to that fulfillment, whatever it may be.
That's why play is so important, especially for young people. It's why establishing an early sense of morality without guilt is important, for it forms the foundation for being satisfied and fulfilled. The Thomas Jefferson Education folks call this early phase the Core Phase. Only then can a child have a sense of justice and right selfhood. Only by wasting time, for instance, can she learn what about that feels nourishing, and what feels empty. Only by trying on other selves and playing in all sorts of environments and learning to ride the waves of emotions in a safe place can a person learn who they are, and what they want out of life.
Then one needs tools to get where one wants to go, and that's where reading, writing, arithmetic, and other traditional aspects of learning comes in. But these need to be taught through play and exploration as well, or a child gets confused and thinks the point is to get things right all the time, and then gives up trying anything at which he might "fail." [The TJEd folks call this Love of Learning Phase.]
Even in areas not included in the canon of imperial education, like art, athletics, and music, in order to give children a sense of what they want and who they are, we need to step back from our grand ideas of perfection, and let them find their way. An example is my daughter's gymnastics. She loves gymnastics. She was the toddler who would hang on everything, climb everything, and could execute a forward roll before she could talk. We found a gym that fosters strength, self-esteem, and skilled gymnasts. We spend a lot of time and a lot of money there. But recently she reached a point where she had to decide if she was going to go the competitive route, which eventually means 14 hours or more a week of practice plus traveling and meets, but means she would be shaped into a strong and perfect gymnast; or we had to take the "Eagles" route, where girls get medals no matter what at their few competitions and advance to the next level just by continuing on, not through perfecting skills. I really struggled with this choice (and I hate having to make it now - she's only seven!), because the high level of competition with choice A doesn't feel like a good fit, and it feels too critical and pushy to me (for my daughter's personality and needs). But choice B feels like they just don't care. Like if you're not going to head for the Olympics, we'll still take your money and give your kid something to do, but we won't care that much about it. I feel those non-competitive kids still need to be met where they are and encouraged and coached, no matter what. But our culture doesn't support that idea.
We decided to go the Eagles route, because my seven-year-old is not interested in making gymnastics the be-all-and-end-all-center-of-the-universe. But a part of me watched the top level girls work out and do their routines, and I feel a sense of longing and regret. What if my daughter could be like that? I realized that underneath this feeling was a desire for her to have a Thing in the world, and this desire comes from my not knowing what my Thing is. I envy people who got a degree in something and go do that thing and identify with it and get accolades for it and that is their Thing. I had equated having a Thing with being fulfilled.
It's not about having a Thing. It's about feeling satisfaction and fulfillment - which might mean having a Thing, or it might mean doing gymnastics just for fun, or having lots of little things, or it might mean earning lots of money - but then knowing what to do with that money and not judging oneself on the money or the accolades themselves. And I think most people don't know how to get there. Because most people were schooled in the traditional system.
So I'll continue to value all the little things I do - writing, gardening, walking to the library, belly dancing while I cook breakfast - that fulfill me. And I will encourage my kids to do the same. I should mention, too, that I think a huge part of feeling fulfilled and motivated in life is a rich spiritual life.
And that's the reason we homeschool (and specifically, we Flowschool, if you will - sort of unschooling meets TJEd). To help my children grow up to be people who know what they want from the inside and how to achieve it in the world.
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