Perfectionism and the Journey



I caught myself thinking this morning - Why is this parenting stuff so hard? Why didn't I read everything I needed to know before my kids were born and get it all figured out long ago? (As if that were even possible.)

Then I realized how I let myself learn about any other subject as I go - while writing a book, keeping chickens, gardening. I don't see it as a failure, but a journey deepening into something I value. Somehow learning to parent as I go feels like a failure. And into my mind popped the image of my daughter (age 7) melting into a pile of self revulsion because she can't draw or play piano or spell a word perfectly the first or second or third time. Hmm, I thought - while my response is less dramatic, it's the same pattern. Expecting myself to be beyond perfect from square one.

Time to let myself grow as I go, even as a parent, and to show my daughter my process. I've tried to show her my mistakes and learning in other areas - sewing, cooking, my career - but never my biggest project of all, parenting.

My daughter is an amazing artist. And she has a lot of room to grow. I guess maybe I can say the same about me as a parent - the former can be true, and the latter is okay, too.

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